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Hello ALL,
Thirty Three Years ago, 20 million Americans participated in the first Earth Day on April 22, 1970. Fifth Avenue in New York City was closed to automobiles as 100,000 people joined in concerts, lectures, and street theater. More than 2,000 colleges and universities across America paused their anti-war protests to rally instead against pollution and population growth. Even Congress recessed, acknowledging that the environment was now on a political par with motherhood.
Southern State College in Magnolia also acknowledged that first Earth Day with a symposium in Overstreet Hall. And “Fuzzy” Thurman created a quote for me that was copied on the AP and UPI wires and published in the New York Times and Washington Post. Fuzzy, writing for his Bray Article of the week, quoted me as saying; “The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now!”
So, what’s happened to the environmental movement over the last 33 years?
Earth Day 1970 was cited as irrefutable evidence that the American people understood the environmental threat and wanted action to resolve it. At the time, the major problems were air and water pollution and the major cause identified was over population.
The solution back then was to regulate the discharge of hazardous and/or unwanted substances into our air and water and to encourage zero population growth. Laws such as the Clean Water and Clean Air acts did make a significant difference in the level of pollution.
Due to those early regulatory efforts as well as the demands of the public for business to be more “Green” (remember McDonalds old foam packaging?) our air and water is much much cleaner than it was at the time of the first earth day. But I wonder what happened to the goal of controlling population. It seems to have fallen off the radar.
Our national environmental policy evolved into federal action to regulate activities that have an environmental impact in the United States. The stated goal of this policy is to protect the environment for future generations while interfering as little as possible with the efficiency of commerce or the liberty of the people and to limit inequity in who is burdened with environmental costs.
This policy grew mainly out of the environmental movement in the United States in the 1960s and 1970s during which several environmental laws were passed, regulating air and water pollution and forming the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA). Partially due to the high costs associated with these regulations, there has been a backlash from business and politically conservative interests, limiting increases to environmental regulatory budgets and slowing efforts to protect the environment. Since the 1970s, despite frequent legislative gridlock, there have been significant environmental regulations, including increases in air and water quality and, to a lesser degree, control of hazardous waste.
Major Environmental Legislation includes:
1899 Refuse Act
1918 Migratory Bird Treaty Act of 1918
1948 Federal Water Pollution Control Act
1955 Air Pollution Control Act
1963 Clean Air Act (1963)
1965 Solid Waste Disposal Act
1965 Water Quality Act
1967 Air Quality Act
1969 National Environmental Policy Act
1970 Clean Air Act (1970)
1970 Occupational Safety and Health Act
1972 Consumer Product Safety Act
1972 Federal Insecticide, Fungicide, and Rodenticide Act
1972 Clean Water Act
1972 Noise Control Act
1973 Endangered Species Act
1974 Safe Drinking Water Act
1975 Hazardous Materials Transportation Act
1976 Resource Conservation and Recovery Act
1976 Solid Waste Disposal Act
1976 Toxic Substances Control Act
1977 Clean Air Act Amendments
1977 Clean Water Act Amendments
1980 CERCLA (Superfund)
1984 Resource Conservation and Recovery Act Amendments
1986 Safe Drinking Water Act Amendments
1986 Superfund Amendments and Reauthorization Act
1986 Emergency Wetlands Resources Act
1987 Clean Water Act Reauthorization
1990 Oil Pollution Act
1990 Clean Air Act (1990)
1993 North American Free Trade Agreement
2003 Healthy Forests Initiative
In my opinion, this movement has gone the way of most such efforts. It has accomplished some worthy goals, but, in an effort to regulate our way to environmental sustainability, they have created a morass of laws that not only stifle commerce but don’t really protect the environment.
Like Chuck Van Meter once told a class at SAU; “We can protect the environment or we can obey the law. But … we can’t do both.”
[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Environmental_policy_of_the_United_States]
[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Environmental_policy_of_the_United_States]
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This is my first post since December. I just had more to say than I had time to write. In the future I’ll try to write less … more often.
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Annette and our youngest grandsons were “out and about” one day and she thought to ask them if they were properly dressed (it was a little cool). She asked if they had on proper shoes, not just flip flops (their preferred footwear.)
The first grader (names with held to protect the parents) replied; “Yes MamMaw. We’ve got real shoes, socks, long pants, and a long sleeve shirt.” He paused a moment and then concluded; “And, even underwear.” The third grader, as usual, corrected the facts of the situation and pointed out that he had on a short sleeve shirt and didn’t even have a jacket, but he went on to say; “MamMaw, you’re warmer than us because you’ve got on more clothes.”
Upon hearing that, Annette suffered a synapse leap and commented; “Hey guys why do women have to wear bras and men don’t?”
The first grader replied; “Well … because their chests stick out and jiggle a lot.”
At this point, the third grader spoke up and concluded the conversation by dramatically saying; “How did we wonder into this topic?”
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We’ve had some “challenges” over the last few months, the kind that try to pull you down. You know, illness and other such passing trifles. But I’m reminded that even though I'm often found griping that we don't sing the old Hymns enough, this is one occasion that a worship song seem to say it best.
...
Your Love Never Fails
Higher than the mountains that I face
Stronger than the power of the grave
Constant in the trial and the change
One thing remains
One thing remains
(Your love Your Love Your Love will never change)
Your love never fails
It never gives up
Never Runs Out On Me.
Your Love Your Love Your Love
Your love never fails
It never gives up
Never Runs Out On Me.
Your love oh Lord
On and on and on it goes
It overwhelms and satisfies my soul
And I never have to be afraid
One thing remains
One thing remains
Your Love Your Love Your Love
Your love never fails
It never gives up
Never Runs Out On Me.
Your love Your perfect love oh Lord
Your love never fails
It never gives up
Never Runs Out On Me.
Your love oh Lord
In death in life I'm confident and
Cover'd by the power of Your great love
My debt is paid there's nothing that
Can separate my heart from Your great love
Your love never fails
It never gives up
Never Runs Out On Me.
Your Love Your Love Your Love
Your love never fails
It never gives up
Never Runs Out On Me.
Your love we can feel Your love oh Lord
Your love burning in our hearts (oh God)
Your Love
Brian Johnson
~~~~~
Lessons learned from reading “Dear Abby”:
1. Don’t blame the server for bad food.
2. Always be polite and send compliments to the chef when applicable.
3. It’s YOUR wedding.
4. It’s never too late to change bad habits.
5. Kindness is always important.
6. Being the “other woman” is a dead end job.
7. Workplace romances are usually doomed.
8. Counseling is a good thing.
9. Reconcile and forgive estranged parents IF YOU CAN.
10. Pursue your dreams NOW.
11. You deserve to be loved.
12. It’s never too late to say “Thank You.”
~~~~~
I’m sometimes asked what my thoughts are on workplace safety. I usually give them my; "Plastic Banana Story." I was on a panel at a safety conference when a member of the audience asked; "But how do you make employees follow safety rules? I can't get our fork truck drivers to wear seat belts."
It was hard for me not to wave my hand and yell; "Let me answer. Let me answer." The moderator wisely turned to me and asked if I'd like to respond. This is my response to the question.
~
When I was a young father, we had a bowl of plastic fruit on the coffee table. One day my two year old son toddled in and grabbed one of the plastic bananas. I gently took it away from him and placed it back in the bowl. He didn't cry, he just said "Want nanner."
In response, I gently explained that this wasn't really a banana, it was just to look at.
His response? "Want nanner."
At that point, I picked up the plastic fruit and banged it on the coffee table, again explaining it wasn't a real banana.
His response? "Want nanner."
This little give and take continued for a couple of more minutes until I just looked at him and said very firmly. "NO! You can't have this 'banana'!"
To which he replied; "OK." And wandered off to do something else.
When we're endeavoring to improve safety, one of the first things we have to do is get "buy in." Employees should be educated on the hazards and ways to mitigate same.
This education should be followed with active inspections to ensure the safety rules are being followed and protocols / equipment properly used.
If we find deficiencies, we should attempt to again try to get "buy in."
But ... if after all your efforts to educate and train fail to ensure compliance with sound safety practice … you have to fall back to being the parent and firmly enforcing the rules. NO EXCEPTIONS!
If you can't do that ... you have no business being a safety person ... or a parent.
~~~~~
I was listening to NPR and guess what? They were talking about “GUNS” and how to solve the Gun violence problem in this country. One caller suggested that most Americans were concerned about the current proposals and feared these new edicts would infringe on their constitutional rights. The caller went on to ask; “since US Citizens own about 3 million firearms, what are you gonna do? Confiscate all of them?” The NPR host paused and then said; “Are we going to have to live under the threat of so many millions of guns out there?” I thought for a moment and realized that I too was concerned about a large store of dangerous stuff in our nation … alcohol. After all, in 2010 there was 3.3 DUI fatalities for every 100,000 citizens. If we’re considering restricting the use and ownership of guns, shouldn’t we do the same for alcohol?
But wait you say? We already restrict the ownership and use of alcohol via local, state and federal law. And those restrictions are doing such a great job that we only kill 10,000 folks a year in alcohol impaired driving accidents.
Amazingly, Drunk Driving Control efforts have actually shown some progress over the past 20 years. Without banning alcohol, they have used stricter laws, more emphasis on mental health, and public education to reduce DUI fatalities by 48%.
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No matter what our intent, there are some words, symbols, etc. that offend folks and depending on the severity of their offense, we may need to modify our words, (etc.) just to be polite.
A good example is the term "boy." Upon entering college, I quickly learned that my "Afro-American" classmates were deeply offended when I called them "boy." It didn't matter that I was in the habit of calling all males my age or younger, "boy."
Another example is the "Stars and Bars" flag. My great-granddad fought for the south at Vicksburg and I'm still proud of the heritage while not in support of the history of slavery and racism in the USA (and the rest of the world.) So I don't display a confederate flag.
I learned that lesson as a youngster when I took a trip to Galveston and came back with a "Maltese Surfers Cross." The beach movies were all the rage and every guy I knew wanted a surfers cross.
Imagine my dismay when I showed it to my dad (a European Theater WWII vet) and he snatched it away from me and said "No son of mine is going to wear a swastika!" After I got over my shock and not a little anger, I realized that he was a product of "where he was when." Any Germanic looking symbol was offensive to a man who had fought Hitler's Armies. So I sacrificed a little and complied with his desires. It didn't matter that he was wrong about what the surfers cross meant. What mattered was that it offended him and I didn't want to do that ... intentionally or not.
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In Liberian universities, female students are expected to comply with "Sex 101," a reference to the expectation that female students will have sex with their male lecturers to get good grades or pass their degree courses. Some call the practice "transactional sex, and it is common not only in Liberian universities but also throughout sub-Saharan Africa. Now, Liberian students have decided to do something about it.
http://www.homelandsecuritynewswire.com/seworld20130304-liberian-female-students-protest-sexforgrade-practice
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There is absolutely no end to the ignorance spread by “the encyclopedia of Google” as well as "Shoddy journalism" both of which are to blame for poor public understanding of chemicals in our society.
A blogger's promotion of a story that ran on "Dateline NBC" claiming health dangers from trace levels of Bisphenol A and phthalates is an example of "shoddy journalism," writes Jon Entine of the George Mason Genetic Literacy Project. The show, the blogger and the National Resources Defense Council are misleading the public on the science behind the claims, Entine argues.
"[H]ere we have a problematic study hyped erroneously by science-challenged activists only to be picked up by science-absent television journalists only to be recycled back to the public by anti-chemical activists," he writes. Forbes (4/18)
[http://www.forbes.com/sites/jonentine/2013/04/18/national-resources-defense-council-nrdc-champions-shoddy-journalism-on-endocrine-active-chemicals/]
Believe it or not, our world is made of chemicals, elements and mixtures. Many, if not most, of which are toxic in some way. You can actually kill a person by giving them too much water [http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=strange-but-true-drinking-too-much-water-can-kill].
But we shouldn’t live in fear; our bodies were actually made to defend us from harmful substances. For instance, our respiratory system filters out many particulates (i.e. dust, mold, etc.) before they reach the lungs. Substances that do make it into the lungs and are absorbed into the blood stream are filtered out by the liver, kidneys, spleen, etc. and excreted to prevent harm to us.
Of course, our bodies can’t protect us from any and all assault, if we are exposed to too much of a substance or for too long a time, it can overwhelm the bodies defenses. Chlorine is a good example. A small amount of Chlorine in our water protects us from severe and deadly organisms. But it doesn’t take too much to turn the water acidic and cause damage to our internal structures. And airborne Chlorine can quickly overcome the bodies’ defenses and cause severe harm, even death.
To judge harm, you have to know the actual toxicity of a substance, the time of exposure and the amount of exposure. Here lies the rub. The best way of judging toxicity is case studies. But it’s unethical to expose humans to a substance to see what happens, so we use animals, especially rats to conduct many studies. And rat data isn’t always directly extrapolate able to humans. Additionally, they often have to give the animals major overdoses to see a response, further skewing the study results.
I’ve personally been involved in two studies that I would judge as failed.
The first, was a safety study of the effects of exposure to 1,2 Di-Bromo Chloro Propane to humans. The study concluded that humans could be exposed to PPM concentrations of DBCP without ill effects. The authors, however, overlooked one series of tests that showed decreased sperm production in bulls. Turns out that human exposure to DBCP at the recommended levels caused temporary sterility in males.
Oops.
The second Study involved exposure of Rats to Ethylene Di-Bromide and the study extrapolated that humans exposed to PPM concentrations would develop cancer. I learned of this study when some government contractors showed up at my workplace and told us that basically we were all “dead men walking.” At this time we had been working for several years to decrease exposure levels in the plant and I was confident that our actual exposures were very low. Additionally, I knew of several workers from the original EDB plants in Michigan that were old retired guys and the levels of exposure they had endured were MAGNATUDES greater than we worked in. Those old original plants first manufactured the substance using open brick caldrons of bromine and bubbling ethylene into them until it converted to EDB. All this inside a closed building.
What am I getting at? I’m saying that we need to limit our exposure to potentially toxic substances without falling prey to “junk science” fear tactics that, to me, seek to move us back into the middle ages where life span was measured in 3 or 4 decades, not up to a century as at present.
To sum it up ... here we have a problematic study of the dangers of Bisphenol A and phthalates, hyped erroneously by science-challenged activists only to be picked up by science-absent television journalists only to be recycled back to the public by anti-chemical activists. At the center of this fiasco: the NRDC.
Any wonder we have a science education crisis in our country? Lets’ hope that the relentless anti-science drumbeat doesn’t result in a chemical regulatory crisis as well.
~~~~~
When my generation was growing up we were taught that Nathan Hale’s biggest sacrifice was accepting an assignment that required him to lie. Such behavior was not accepted by responsible men of that time. Then we learned of Abraham Lincoln’s honesty in walking several miles to return a few cents that a customer had inadvertently over paid him.
Compare that with today’s cheating scandals, politicians living off bribes, employers who encourage workers to deny customers claims of overcharges, employees who pad expense accounts and overstate time worked, etc. etc. etc.
Is it any wonder that many corporations freely contract with companies who care little or nothing for their employee’s safety and health?
Would that Corporations would rigorously adhere to Michael Josephson’s “12 Ethical Principles for Business Executives.” [http://josephsoninstitute.org/business/blog/2010/12/12-ethical-principles-for-business-executives/]
~~~~~
It’s Time For the US to Go Metric - Jamie Condliffe
The US has a love affair with imperial units: height in inches, milk in quarts, weight in pounds. You name it, and it's measured in imperial. The only problem? Imperial is dumb. So let's cast of those shackles and join the rest of the world by embracing units that make sense. Let's go metric, once and for all.
http://gizmodo.com/5972438/its-time-for-the-us-to-go-metric?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=linkedin
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It's so tragic for our country and our kids ... we just have to laugh. Years ago, when we lived in Dallas, I thought that political action committees would be the answer. The "small" people could band together and push for change via monetary support for politicians. But that too was taken over by the "big money." Now I advocate a groundswell of reaching out to voters and educating them on the facts. Just call me Don Quixote.
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HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking..
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only..
85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.
Senate still blocking drilling in ANWAR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.
~~~~~
THE REMARKABLE BRAIN functions from a period inside the womb 24 hours a day 365 days a year to a period just before you decide to vote Democrat. Thanks To Chuck Jackson (It’s a joke folks.)
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Punny Thoughts
I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing – but it let out a little whine.
The primary responsibility for a child's education is apparent.
For plumbers, a flush beats a full house.
The best way to communicate with a fish is to drop it a line.
Her company distributes gift-boxed cashews, and she has a delivery guy that drives her nuts.
Received from Milton Freund.
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One day, after a man had his annual physical, the doctor came out and said, "You had a great check-up. Is there anything that you'd like to talk about or ask me?"
"Well," he said, "I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."
"That's a big decision! Have you talked it over with your family?"
"Yeah, we took a vote... and they're in favor of it 15 to 2."
~~~~~
LAWS
1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.
3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal - someone always answers.
6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!
10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
11. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.
16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they 're ugly.
17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking--A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!!!
18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
19. Doctors ' Law - If you don 't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.
~~~~~
MAN RULES
THESE ARE OUR RULES!
PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!
1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.
1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.
1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:
SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!
1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.
1.. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.
1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.
1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, DON'T ASK US.
1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.
1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.
1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.
1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...
1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS..
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.
1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.
1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR..
1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.
1. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.
1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!
~~~~~
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, Ford issued a press release stating:
If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash.........twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
I love the next one!!!
7. The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying.
8.. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
Thanks To Waneta
~~~~~
Favorite Quotes:
The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. -- Mark Twain
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“We are moons, not suns. The moon only reflects the light of the sun. We need only to reflect His light, then we live to His glory.” - - Corrie Ten Boom
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As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.~ Buddy Hackett
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"Don’t worry - lay your hand in His hand. You will be safe even if life today feels like crossing a bridge without parapets over wild rushing water." Corrie Ten Boom
To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you. C. S. Lewis
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The following wisdom is shared by our friends.
~
Lynn Cloud Barnhart
"Setbacks"are just "setups"for God to show what He is able to do.....God is Always Faithful!
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Stephen Burton - It's a shame when we let people/things rob our spouse and children by convincing us they need our time and attention more than our family does.
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Amanda Bowen Franks - May our minds not be double minded! Nobody knows what we are for, only what we are against.....
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Martha Chapman - The day by day calendar my daughter gave me for Christmas has this quote: "In mothering, if you do it right, you work yourself out of a job."
~
Nancee Davis Law
Grudges are like bricks we carry around in our pockets while we wonder why we're so tired all the time.
When life pours rain on you, learn to dance in the puddles.
is it ever too cold for ice cream? I think Not.
If you're too busy for God, then it's time to change your schedule
Through your trials and troubles, in your victories and triumphs, Bless the Lord at All Times!
You really don't know what your fruit looks like until those you disciple are making disciples. #2Timothy2vs2
"The word 'listen' contains the same letters as the word 'silent.' " - Alfred Brendel
If God be for us, Who cares who is against us.
As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend
Whenever the devil reminds you of your past, remind him of his future
The best things in life have no price tag because there is no amount of money that can replace the things you have in your heart
When you go through storms in your life, you can either be pitiful or powerful, your attitude determines your victory...
A positive attitude gives you power over your circumstances instead of your circumstances having power over you.
I need to buy a new alarm clock. The one I have keeps going off while I'm asleep.
Rise and Shine! It's the first day of the rest of your life
In the cookies of life, sisters are the chocolate chips.
God will not lead you where He cannot help you.
Merely thinking about forgiving someone does no good. Forgiveness requires action.
~
Jimmy Malone
Let the other men do the talking and the criticizing, and we will stick to the work that God has given us to do. #DLMoody
The Cockroach Principle: Whatever multiplies takes over. #churchplanting
A boy at Taylor Elementary, upon inspecting my Bassets Hounds, remarked, "Those are some mighty fine dogs you got there, mister." #manners #smalltown
"Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night." #Edgar Allen Poe
You know how to kill time? Work it to death. -Bud Alexis #oldmarines
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Katie McWilliams - “Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand.” - Thomas Carlyle
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Debbie Troquille - I read this and thought it was good. "One half the trouble, in life, can be traced to saying yes too quickly, and not saying no soon enough!" Sounds like a stop and think, before you speak, kind of lesson. I "think" I'll do that! Have a super day, friends!
~~~~~
This was posted on the "All Who Love Books!" Facebook page. "if you could only select 5 books to be stranded on a desert island with, which ones would it be?" I Wondered what y'all's answer would be? Also, how many of us will have many of the same?
Mine are:
The Bible (New King James Version)
The Complete Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle
Stranger In a Strange Land by Robert A. Heinlein
The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis
All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque
Now, if I were starting a library on that island I'd like to have:
Cannery Row by John Steinbeck
A Walk Across America By Peter Jenkins
Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card
The Grapes Of Wrath by John Steinbeck
Watership Down by Richard Adams
Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
Flight of the Intruder by Stephen Coonts
Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway
Into Thin Air: A Personal Account of the Mt. Everest Disaster by Jon Krakauer
The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis
The Shack: Where Tragedy Confronts Eternity by Wm. Paul Young
Flags of Our Fathers James Bradley (Author), Ron Powers (Author)
Citizen Soldiers: The U. S. Army from the Normandy Beaches to the Bulge to the Surrender of Germany Stephen E. Ambrose (Author)
The Wild Blue : The Men and Boys Who Flew the B-24s Over Germany 1944-45 by Stephen E. Ambrose
One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich and THE GULAG ARCHIPELAGO 1918-1956 by ALEXANDER SOLZHENITSYN
~~~~~
AskBob - - Bob Rankin - - Windows XP: The End is Near [http://askbobrankin.com/windows_xp_the_end_is_near.html?awt_l=HZr.N&awt_m=J9iljjpO68P6SL]
If you are still clinging to Windows XP, it’s time to get serious about upgrading to another operating system. Microsoft will end all support for XP on April 8, 2014 -- one year from today. That may seem far off, and to some users it may seem trivial. But neither assumption is true. If you're still using XP, here's what you need to know now...
~~~~~
Want to know something about your ancestors? See Amber at the Columbia County Library for free access to Ancestory.com.
~~~~~
The latest from Michael Yon, the foremost “milnews” blogger on the web.
~
Greetings,
Good news from Free Burma Rangers in Thailand.
13 April, 2013
Karenni State, Burma
Written By: Free Burma Rangers
Dear friends,
On Friday afternoon, 22 March, a fire devastated the Mae Surin Refugee Camp, home to more than 3,605 people. The deadly fire killed 39 people and left 2300 homeless. The response of people wanting to help has been swift. Thank you for part in this and for the help for these Karenni families. Here is an update and photos of the situation and a thank you for all who helped. This report is written by the team we sent to help.
[http://www.michaelyon-online.com/fbr-report-the-burning-of-karenni-camp-2-and-relief-efforts.htm]
Very Respectfully,
Michael Yon
Your Writer,
Please remember that this website accepts no advertisement and is dependent on your support.
PS Please sign up for my Twitter.com updates at "Michael_Yon" [http://twitter.com/Michael_Yon] (not Michael Yon).
http://www.facebook.com/#/MichaelYonFanPage?ref=sgm
~
www.michaelyon-online.com
~
Http://www.michaelyon_online.com/index.php
~~~~~
If you would like to encourage US Troops overseas, but are not sure just how to begin, visit www.anysoldier.com for ideas.
~~~~~
5 Things New Veterans Expect From All Candidates
1. Defend the New GI Bill
2. Employ the New Greatest Generation
3. Prevent suicide among troops and veterans
4. Build a truly 21st Century VA
5. Improve Care for Female Veterans
http://iava.org/blog/5-things-new-veterans-expect-all-candidates-2012
~~~~~
Please remember ... America is not at war. The U.S. Military is at war. America is at the MALL.
~~~~~
DarynKagan.com - - I have for you today an amazingly generous athlete, incredible dogs saving our lives, & a kitchen trick that really works!
Enjoy!
-Daryn
Star Athlete Giving Up Career To Become Bone Marrow Donor For A Stranger [http://darynkagan.com/Sports.html]
America's Most Elite Dogs Saving Lives Around The Word #Amazing Behind The Scenes Look
http://darynkagan.com/DarynKagan.com_Animals.html
Crazy Simple Trick For Separating Eggs #You Know You'll Have To Try It!
http://darynkagan.com/Overcoming_Obstacles.html
~~~~~
ACC: "Shoddy journalism" is to blame for poor public understanding of chemicals
A blogger's promotion of a story that ran on "Dateline NBC" claiming health dangers from trace levels of bisphenol A and phthalates is an example of "shoddy journalism," writes Jon Entine of the George Mason Genetic Literacy Project. The show, the blogger and the National Resources Defense Council are misleading the public on the science behind the claims, Entine argues. "[H]ere we have a problematic study hyped erroneously by science-challenged activists only to be picked up by science-absent television journalists only to be recycled back to the public by anti-chemical activists," he writes. Forbes (4/18) [http://www.forbes.com/sites/jonentine/2013/04/18/national-resources-defense-council-nrdc-champions-shoddy-journalism-on-endocrine-active-chemicals/]
~~~~~
http://www.shelfari.com
http://www.shelfari.com/bugsbleat/shelf
~~~~~
Photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include - - Earthday photos.
~~~~~
For the latest issue of "Da Bleat.", go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com.
Our photos are posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
BreakPoint - - 'A Grand and Holy Scheme'
Charles W. Colson
By: Eric Metaxas - Published: April 22, 2013
Most of us have sat, head in hands asking, “What in the world is God doing with my life?”
Eric Metaxas
As you may know, yesterday was the one-year anniversary of the death of BreakPoint’s founder, Chuck Colson.
Chuck was and is a tremendous inspiration to me for many reasons, but above all, because he taught me that when you give everything to God, only then are you truly free.
Most BreakPoint listeners are probably familiar with the story of how Chuck became involved in the 1968 presidential campaign, working hard to get Richard Nixon elected. Nixon then appointed him as his special counsel and gave him the office next to his own.
Later, as the storm clouds of Watergate gathered, Chuck, who for some time had felt an emptiness inside, visited his old friend Tom Phillips. Phillips spoke to Chuck about Christ, prayed for him, and gave him a copy of C.S. Lewis' book, “Mere Christianity.” A few minutes later, in Tom’s driveway, Chuck began to weep. Sitting alone in his car in the darkness, Chuck Colson gave his heart to God.
Meanwhile, Watergate Special Prosecutor Leon Jaworski wanted Chuck to plead guilty to a misdemeanor charge of conspiring to break into the offices of Daniel Ellsberg’s psychiatrist. Now Chuck had engaged in many dirty tricks during his years in politics, but this was not one of them. At the same time, in his heart, Chuck knew he had contributed to the deeply immoral atmosphere in the White House. Before God, he knew he was terribly guilty.
And so over the objections of his attorney, Chuck decided he had no alternative than to voluntarily confess to a crime he had committed and trust God with the outcome.
So he pled guilty to “disseminating derogatory information to the press about Daniel Ellsberg while he was a criminal defendant.” The result was a shockingly harsh sentence of one-to-three years.
In prison, the man who’d once had an office next to the president’s spent his days mopping floors and doing laundry. He also undertook serious Bible study. And he began to realize that he was in prison for a purpose.
As I write in my new book, “7 Men and the Secret of their Greatness,” Chuck “saw that God had brought him to [prison] to teach him not only that his fellow prisoners were his brothers in Christ but also so that he could identify with them and see the world from their perspective.” He also “saw that his prison sentence and his suffering were part of a grand and holy scheme. God humbled him and brought him to prison precisely so that Chuck could help these men.”
When Chuck was released after serving seven months, he started Prison Fellowship Ministries, Newsletter_Gen_180x180_Bkeeping his promise to the prisoners he’d left behind. He later started BreakPoint and other ministries. And he became a William Wilberforce for his times, righting wrongs and teaching people to think.
Many people consider Chuck a great man because he spent nearly half his life bringing Christ to prisoners. But I think Chuck’s greatest act was voluntarily confessing to a crime that nobody knew about. The one-time White House “hatchet man” was willing, for the sake of justice and his Christian witness, to go to prison when he could have avoided it. And it was that sacrifice that led to all the other achievements in Chuck’s long and busy life. He was a great witness to the divine teaching that when we honor God, He will honor us.
If you know young men who could benefit from examples of heroic manhood like Chuck Colson’s, I hope you’ll consider giving them copies of my book, 7 Men and the Secret of their Greatness. You can find out how to get it at BreakPoint.org.
Through the lives of Chuck Colson and others they’ll learn that God holds for each of us “a grand and holy scheme.”
Further Reading and Information
BP-Takeaction_42213"A Grand and Holy Scheme": Charles W. Colson - Next Steps
One of the questions which nags at every young person, but at young men especially, is "What's God going to do with my life?"
Amidst the many ways God used Chuck, in prison ministry, exploring and spreading the Christian worldview, and bringing the Church together around the vital issues of our day, most people would select some outstanding achievement as the moment when God most powerfully worked through him.
But as you've just heard, Chuck himself considered the strength God gave him to admit to a crime no one knew he'd committed as perhaps the greatest turning point in his life. The moral courage and humility required to do what's right and allow Christ to seize your life changes everything -- and inevitably leads to true greatness.
As we head toward the end of our series on Eric Metaxas' new book, "7 Men," we hope you'll join us in reflecting on the life of one of our heroes. We also hope you'll take the time to use this book and teach a young man in your life the meaning of true greatness, and how God's plan for him means doing the right thing right where he is.
Books:
7 Men and the Secret of Their Greatness
[http://www.colsoncenterstore.org/product.asp?sku=2191_7MEN]
Eric Metaxas | Thomas Nelson Publishers | April 2013
Mere Christianity
[http://www.colsoncenterstore.org/product.asp?sku=0060652888]
C. S. Lewis | HarperOne | March 2001
Websites:
William Wilberforce conference registration
[http://www.colsoncenter.org/wilberforce-weekend-2013]
ColsonCenter.org
[http://www.breakpoint.org/bpcommentaries]
Copyright © 2013 Colson Center. All Rights Reserved
~~~~~
Residents of Columbia County, Arkansas are represented in Congress by:
~
Senator John Boozman (R_ AR)
1 Russell Courtyard
Washington DC, 20510
Phone: 202-224-4843
http://boozman.senate.gov/
~
Senator Mark Pryor (D_ AR)
Phone 202_224_2353
FAX 202_228_0908
http://pryor.senate.gov/
~
Representative Tom Cotton (R )
Phone 202_225_3772
FAX 202_225_1314
http://cotton.house.gov/
Other states congresspersons can be found at: [http://www.visi.com/juan/congress/]
~~~~~
THOUGHT OF THE DAY:
"The ability to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or coffee and I will pay more for that ability than for any other under the sun." - John D. Rockefeller
"If it's very painful for you to criticize your friends -- you're safe in doing it. But if you take the slightest pleasure in it, that's the time to hold your tongue." - Alice Duer Miller
"It is only in sorrow bad weather masters us; in joy we face the storm and defy it." - Amelia Barr
"Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage." - H. L. Mencken
"Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action." - Benjamin Disraeli
"Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them." - James Baldwin
"Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength." - Eric Hoffer
~~~~~
Breaking Christian News
George Beverly Shea Goes Home To Jesus - - Dan Wooding (Apr 17, 2013)
He died Tuesday evening following a brief illness.
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=11282
"Trial of the Century" Exposes Gosnell's Heinous Practices - - Aimee Herd (Apr 17, 2013)
"Gosnell trained his staff to do ultrasounds a certain way to make fetuses look smaller, but some were breathing and moving when delivered, staff testified. One recalled that after Gosnell snipped the neck of one born at 30 weeks, he joked that it was big enough to 'walk to the bus stop.'" -NBC Report
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=11279
editor@breakingchristiannews.com
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GCF: Defensive Driving Course
One of my co-workers got a speeding ticket and was attending a defensive-driving course to have points erased from her license. The instructor, a police officer, emphasized that being on time was crucial and that the classroom doors would be locked when each session began.
Just after one class started, someone knocked on the locked door. The officer opened it and asked, "Why are you late?"
The student replied, "I was trying not to get another ticket."
The officer let him in.
_ _______________________________ _
GCF: Traveling Tip
Here's a little tip from me to you as an experienced traveler. Wake-up calls are the worst way to wake up. The phone rings, it's loud and you can't turn it down.
I leave the number of the room next to me.
It just rings very quietly and you hear the person next door yell, "Why are you calling me?"
Then you get up and take a shower.
It's great.
_ _______________________________ _
The nine-year-old daughter walked in while her mother was getting ready for work.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Putting on my wrinkle cream," mom answered.
"Oh," she said, walking away. "I thought they were natural."
_ _______________________________ _
GCF: Exercise
I'm so tired of exercising. I think five thousand sit-ups or jumping jacks should be pretty much permanent. You should be at home, you're on your last and final jumping jack, and you get that phone call, "Congratulations! You have completed the exercise portion of your life. Welcome to the incessant eating section."
_ _______________________________ _
GCF: Yeah, That'll Work
This technician's company uses satellite communications to send and receive messages from tugboats moving barges up and down major rivers. Each day, by 2 p.m., the tugboats send data on the day's activities to the company's traffic department.
At least that's how it's supposed to work.
"I got a call from our traffic department saying they only got data from about half the boats, and would I check on it?" technician says.
He calls the satellite company, but the technician there says there's no problem on his end.
Meanwhile, the traffic department calls again -- they're still not getting messages from the missing boats.
"So I called the boats and got them to re-send the messages, and they came through," says our tech. "The problem apparently cleared itself up."
But he isn't quite satisfied. "I called the satellite company back to see what happened, and what we could do if the problem recurred."
Satellite company's technician doesn't know what happened and doesn't have any way of finding out. "In order to track the messages, we would need an identification number from the message," he tells our tech.
We could find out those numbers eventually, he figures.
"Also, the identification numbers are recycled every half hour," tech continues.
"So I need to get you the identification number within that time?" he asks.
"Right", says the satellite tech.
"So to summarize," says our tech glumly, "we need to give you the identification numbers of the messages we haven't received, within half an hour of not receiving them?"
_ _______________________________ _
\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Teamwork is essential. \ /
\ _/ It allows you to blame \_ /
/ / someone else. \ \
_) )_
(((\ \>|_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_||_/ )___________________( \_|<> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
IF WOMEN TRUSTED THEIR HUSBANDS !
Integrity is doing the right thing whether or not someone's watching.
There comes a time when a woman just has to trust her husband...
A wife comes home late at night, and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.
From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two.
She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.
Leaving the covered bodies groaning, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.
As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.
"Hi Darling", he says, "Your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say "hello"?
Thanks To Joe Mullins
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The Snow Plow
On a bitterly cold winter's morning a husband and wife who had moved from College Station Texas to Ohio were listening to the radio during breakfast.
They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so Snowplows can get through conveniently".
So the good wife went out and moved her car as instructed.
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through." The good wife went out and moved her car again.
The next week they are again having breakfast when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park ..." then the power went off.
The good wife was very upset and with a worried look on her face she said, "I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?"
Then, with all the love and understanding in his voice that men who are married to blondes always exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just leave the car in the garage this time?"
Thanks to Joe Mullins
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Not Right
"Johnny," said the teacher, "if coal is selling at $6 a ton and you pay your dealer $24, how many tons will he bring you?"
"A little over three tons, ma'am," said Johnny.
"Why, Johnny, that isn't right," said the teacher.
"No, ma'am, I know it isn't," said Johnny, "but they all do it."
Received from Thomas Ellsworth.
(_:][:_)
Groaner: Endangered Species
An exciting new development in marine biology promised to extend the lifespan of an endangered species of porpoise. In fact, the data suggested that if a specific kind of African seagull, freshly out of the egg, was fed to the porpoises every day without fail, they would actually live forever!
The big challenge was to gather this food supply, this equivalent of chicken dinners for oceanic mammals, on a regular basis. There were many problems, including the fact that it could be dangerous, as these seagulls were found near water holes where all sorts of large game animals congregated.
But this was an important ecological breakthrough, so teams were sent out right away. They worked diligently to supply the necessary small fowl.
One afternoon, an intrepid gull-gatherer on his way back to base from the water hole encountered a pride of lions taking their afternoon nap.
As they were blocking his way, and his day's catch of seagull hatchlings was needed right away, he carefully stepped over the lions that were directly in his path.
That spelled the end of the experiment. The porpoises, deprived of their special diet, not only did not live forever, but they also became extinct.
That was because an alert game control officer had spotted the team member, arrested him, confiscated his equipment and baggage, and charged him with ... transporting young gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.
Received from Stan Kegel.
(_:][:_)
Sky Diving
A man finally summons the courage to go sky diving for the very first time. The preparation and plane flight go smoothly, but immediately after jumping from the plane, he is unable to get his parachute to deploy. As he hurtles towards the earth, he is shocked to see a man rocketing upwards toward him. As they pass in the air, the skydiver yells, "Do you know anything about parachutes?"
The second man responds, "No. Do you know anything about gas grills?"
Received from Mark McEathron.
(_:][:_)
Modern Tools
Hammer - In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict pain on one's enemies. Modern hammers are used to inflict pain on oneself.
Screwdriver - The drink ordered at the local bar after you call in a professional repairman to undo the $500 in damage you did while trying to change out a light socket with your handy screwdriver.
Phillips Screwdriver - The bar drink that you order when the damage estimate is over $1,000. Contains twice the vodka.
Pliers - A device used to extend your reach the necessary few inches when you drop a one-of-a-kind screw down behind the new wall it took you two weeks to install.
Electronic Stud Finder - An annoying device that never goes off when you point it at yourself.
Halogen Light - A worklight that lights up your backyard with the incandescence of a football stadium, causing you to cast a heavy shadow over the area you're working on so that you need to use a flashlight anyway.
Cordless Drill - A device that lessens your chance of electrocution 90% over a standard plug-in tool.
Cordless Telephone - The handyman's 911.
Air Compressor - A mechanical device similar in principle to harnessing the power of your mother-in-law's nagging complaints and using the resulting airflow to blast old paint off the side of the house.
Chain Saw - Allows you to cut your way out of the shed that you accidentally built completely around yourself.
Vise Grips - A pair of helping hands that doesn't critique the job you're doing or offer advice.
Received from Ed.
(_:][:_)
--
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Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List
A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a)
Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA
To print or email this funny to others, go to
http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20120420
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http://www.gcfl.net/latest.php
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Column - -
Limerick of the Week - - May 5th, 2013
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Tim James, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
The party was starting to hum
On a fishing boat well-stocked with rum,
Till the captain’s friend, drunk,
With the sharks took a dunk.
Now he’s known as the skipper’s best chum.
Congratulations to Steve Whitred and Will T. Laughlin, who jointly win a special Limerick Puzzle/Repartee Award for this limerick exchange, which begins with Steve’s puzzle in multi-verse limerick form and ends with Will’s solution, also in multi-verse limerick form:
Steve Whitred:
So this week when the rhyme word is hum
And I’ve o’er used … ‘dum’, ‘thumb’, and ‘bum’.
A conundrum I’ll pose.
Will you solve it, who knows?
I suspect though, it’s too tough for some.
Now the gears in my head start to hum,
As the clues for this puzzle forth come.
You’ve got 12 coins of gold,
But there’s one that is old.
It’s weight’s off from the rest, by a crumb.
You’ve a scale (not of music to hum).
It’s two pans on a chain, and it’s plumb.
With this scale weigh the gold
‘Till at last you behold
The coin others are different from.
If at this point you’re all thinking hummm…,
Here’s a clue to begin, don’t be glum.
Place some coins in each pan.
If they balance you can
Safely say that it’s not in that scrum.
Since you now see this isn’t ho-hum,
One more thing, please don’t think I’m a bum.
The odd coin may be light
Or just overweight, slight.
And three weighing’s the goal. Good luck chum.
Will T. Laughlin:
Here’s the method that I would employ:
Choose *any* two coins, Steve my boy…
Take one coin (your choice),
Weigh it avoirdupois,
And then measure the other in troy.
No, no: please don’t give me a beating.
I know that this method is cheating.
If you’d rather instead,
I’ll try using my head…
(Quite a change from my usual bleating).
– ahem –
Put six and six pieces of eight
On the scales, and determine their weight.
You’ll notice one side
Slightly higher will ride:
That’s the side we’ll be working with. Great:
Take the coins from the light side, and see
How they measure up, weighed three and three.
Once again you’ll behold
That there’s one tray of gold
Slightly lighter, comparatively.
Now the answer’s so clear it could bite one:
The lighter half must have the right one.
So compare one and one.
If they’re equal, you’re done;
If they’re not, then you just choose the light one.
(You can read Steve’s solution to his own puzzle here in prose form.)
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jane Shelton Hoffman, Colleen Murphy, Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, Johanna Richmond, Sue Dulley, and Robert Schechter. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
Beethoven first started to hum
As a child when he still sucked his thumb.
As he crawled on the floor,
He’d come up with a score.
His FIRST tune was “Dot dot dot dum.”
Phyllis Sterling Smith:
Just as things were beginning to hum,
Along came a fellow so dumb:
He chose a fine cello
With tone sweet and mellow.
With pick he then started to strum.
David Lefkovits:
A fellow would constantly hum
The chorus from “Under My Thumb.”
He said, with a swagger,
“My moves are like Jagger;
Just see how I’m shaking my bum.”
Johanna Richmond:
To the dentist who’d constantly hum
While poking and prodding her gum:
She cried, “Hate to sound sore
But just how much more
Anesthesia would make my ears numb?”
Sue Dulley:
The lobby was starting to hum.
Reporters closed in for the scrum.
But soon all were vexed
When “No comment” and “Next?”
Were the closest to answers they’d come.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
© Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.
http://www.madkane.com/
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What Love means to a 4-8 year old...
Touching words from the mouth of babes..
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds,
'What does love mean?'
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined
See what you think:
'When my grandmother got arthritis , she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.. So my grandfather does it for her all the time , even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.' Rebecca- age 8
'When someone loves you , the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.' Billy - age 4
'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.' Karl - age 5
'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.' Chrissy - age 6
'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'
Terri - age 4
'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him , to make sure the taste is OK.' Danny - age 7
'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing , you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mom and Daddy are like that.
They look gross when they kiss'
Emily - age 8
'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents
and listen.'
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
'If you want to learn to love better , you should start with a friend who you hate , '
Nikka - age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt , then he wears it every day.'
Noelle - age 7
'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'
Tommy - age 6
'During my piano recital , I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.
He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'
Cindy - age 8
'My mommy loves me more than anybody
You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'
Clare - age 6
'Love is when Mom gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'
Elaine-age 5
'Love is when Mom sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.' Chris - age 7
'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.'
Mary Ann - age 4
'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'
Lauren - age 4
'When you love somebody , your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image)
Karen - age 7
'Love is when Mom sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross..'
Mark - age 6
'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it , you should say it a lot. People forget.'
Jessica - age 8
And the final one
The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry , the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard , climbed onto his lap , and just sat there.
When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor , the little boy said , 'Nothing , I just helped him cry'.
When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need.
Thanks To Waneta
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"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." __ Franklin D. Roosevelt
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. _ _ George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" _ _ Queen E. Watson
“A political class of Republicans and Democrats that look after themselves, not the Nation. A media hostile to the very precepts of this nation. A generation of Americans who see morals as vices, and are ignorant of America's Actual History.”
"The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life." - - Theodore Roosevelt
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234_5655
(Non _ Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance _ 234_7371 (24 Hour)
Jail _ 234_5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control _ 800_222_1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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Interested in getting in touch with the Banner_News through e_mail? editor@bannernews.net For the editor, news@bannernews.net For news and sports items, Coming Events, Diary, Church News, school and civic events. [http://www.bannernews.net/]
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"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." __ "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" __ "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." __ "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." _ _ "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." _ _ Paul Troquille
“Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est.” Knowledge is power. _ Francis Bacon
"The problem is here and now. The time for talk is past. The time for action is now."
Comments on the first Earth Day _ James F. McClellan via John "Fuzzy" Thurman
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" __"Bug"
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT_I KC5HII
P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E_mail at kc5hii@suddenlink.net
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